Without question one of the biggest perks of travel is the food. And without question, we have been in some of the absolute capitals of Western food. So without further ado, a journey through and a ranking of Western Europe´s finest foods.
6) Scotland - Probably no surprise here. If you think back on Haggis and wish you had ordered more…..something is wrong. Very wrong. The fundamental problem with Scottish food is how unabashedly greasy everything is. Even the famous Scottish shortbread cookies glisten in the sun.
Walking into a restaurant in Edinburgh is like playing Russian roulette with 5 bullets in the revolver. Imagine having a piece of fried cod in front of you. Gouging your fork into the crackly flesh, you rake your knife back and forth over the fried batter desperately trying to make a slice. After sawing through, you hesitantly put the fish in your mouth and chew the slightly rubbery, fishy tasting morsel for a solid twenty seconds before you’ve broken it down enough to avoid choking. Then choke it down. Repeat ad nauseam.
*CRUNCH* Chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew……..
I understand why there are a dozen McDonalds’, Burger Kings and Pizza Huts on Princes Street and the surrounding areas. If it were between a Big Mac and piece of fried whoknowswhat, well….”I’m lovin’ it”.
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5) England -Again, no surprise here. Friends and family who had traveled to Britain combined with American pop culture had me ready to expect the worst, then brace for worse than that. Tales of drippy meatpies, soggy beans and overly ripe boiled vegetables haunted my dreams on our flight to London. Upon arriving however, I discovered you could get fresh sandwiches, nice Yog-hurts (as they say it), lovely scones and the like. Surely this wasn’t the same Britain that others had so strongly dismissed?
Two months later, I’m chocking it up to lowered expectations. Yes, British food is worthy of it’s reputation. It’s not that what we ate was bad per se, but it flat out lacked the flavor, charm and delight of the countries we have visited in the mean time. I certainly believe that you can get world class cuisine in England, but you’ve got to fork over large portions of your bank account to get it. The average tourist/street food you find in delis, supermarkets and small restaurants is just that, average. It tastes like the streets of London were catered by Sodexho. You know, you’ll eat it, you might even wrap a few cookies in a napkin for later, but you’re not going to tell anyone you had a great meal.
That said, I really love the traditional English “brekie”. It reminds me of eating at a greasy spoon breakfast joint in the States……the kind of place where you can take 3 hours to eat breakfast, read the newspaper and the waitress refills your coffee at least a dozen times. Of course, in England, if they even offered refills on your coffee, you would be charged 18 pounds for the cup. Which with the exchange rate is about $498 dollars.
No, seriously, I like this.
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4) Spain- In my opinion, a surprisingly low showing for ye old Espana. Hey, that’s the way the galleta crumbles….
I will describe Spanish food thusly: It’s like seeing a Harrison Ford movie (save anything made in the past five years). You walk in, get great entertainment for a few hours (as no Spanish meal is shorter than at least an hour and a half), and walk away with a smile on your face. Hey, you might even recommend the particular restaurant to friends.
But at the end of the day, how many Oscars does Harrison Ford have on his mantel? And many cravings for Spanish food will I get when we return to the States? The answer to both is “Not too many”.
Tapas are fun and a country that charges the same amount for beer as it does for soda can never be bad. The fruit is fresh and getting the check back with the total for two people being under 10 euro is novel. Maybe it’s the Californian in me, but when I hear Spanish being spoken and smell food being prepared, my expectations are high……and despite some really nice meals, I just haven’t fallen in love with Spanish food.
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3) Germany and France (Tie!) – So dynamically different, yet both are heaven sent. German food is the proverbial “Bull in the China Shop” where French food is the less proverbial “Peacock in the Arby’s parking lot”.
First, German food. Powerful, brute flavors. Strong tastes and pungent smells. When you eat German, you are eating for two, regardless of pregnancy status. There is no such thing as a quick and light German meal, so far as I could tell. Instead, each meal is as if you were on death row and midnight was fast approaching. Stuffing yourself on four or five types of bread, all sorts of regional sausages, a variety of spreads, jams and jellies, beer, wine, sauerkraut, cheese, ham and yogurts all adds up to a meal experience that is unforgettable. However, you’d love to forget it the hour or so after you eat, as you waddle to a chair and pray your stomach is up to digesting ALL that. Then you get to do it again 4 hours later!
French food…..perhaps the most famous in the world. And why not? With a seeming intolerance for processed food and great love for all things fresh, the French could teach us a few things about what quality means. The French would not tolerate what we call bread and cheese….in fact, I doubt they’d recognize it. And with good reason: when I entered a cheese shop or a bakery (I’m not even going to try to spell either in French), it was a total body experience. The smells, the sights, the textures and the tastes left me wishing I could put a Parisian baker in my backpack for the flight home. I briefly considered such a kidnapping, but I wasn’t sure how I’d declare it at customs and gave up on it.
When we stayed with Molly’s cousin Eric in Tours, we got an even bigger treat into the world of fresh food. Eric cultivated a food garden for several years and still had a tremendous stock of fresh vegetables that he had jarred, along with fresh cheese, tea and fish. Every night was more fantastic than the last and it left me with a new found respect for “growing your own”. These were no mere carrots or zuccinis: they were some of the juiciest, flavorful and above all, tasty veggies I’ve had. *Bon appetit*
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2) Italy – Well, of course Italy would be this high. In the US and around the world, Pizza and Spaghetti are such common dinner options, I think we often forget that they are even Italian. Yet coming here to Florence, you realize why these dishes (and all the others we enjoy) have made it all over the world and become a part of so many country’s cuisine. Think about it….how many poor college students in the states prepare French, German or Spanish food when they are low on funds? And how many go straight to the pasta section at Safeway and load up cheap pasta and sauce?
The Patron Saint of the American College Student
I think that’s the real beauty of Italian food. Most dishes are very simple and relatively cheap. Pizza is just dough, sauce and a few toppings. Pasta is the same, just in a different form. Yes, despite their simplicity, or perhaps because of it, eating in Italy is one of the most rewarding parts of being there. It’s a type of cooking that everyone from college students to gourmets understand and love. Even Ninja Turtles.
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1) The Netherlands – The ultimate dark horse. I mean, c’mon, when’s the last time you saw a Dutch restaurant? Well, I’m not sure I even saw any Dutch restaurants in the Netherlands…and that’s the true beauty of it: The Dutch take the best of all cuisines and make it something even better.
Molly and I went to two vegetarian restaurants in the canal district. The first was something like you’d find off Pacific Garden Mall in Santa Cruz…..Indian decor, Baliwood posters, jagged granite tables and simple wooden chairs. We ordered salads and were presented with a heap of at least 20 different ingredients. All good, all fresh and all complimentary. Top it off with homemade garlic butter for the homemade bread, and you have to be amazed at the ability of the Dutch to construct such amazing dishes from such a seemingly huge array of foods.
The second vegetarian restaurant was much more like something you’d find in SoMa in San Francisco. White tables with stainless steel linings and art deco style chairs. Minimalist paintings on a Pistachio Green wall. Here we ordered two bowls of soup: tomato and carrot. Simply put, I’ve never had better soup. It had been prepared just minutes before and this came through with every sip. You could taste individual spices the chef had used, but they never, ever overpowered the natural flavor of the tomato or carrot. Being something of a cook myself (or at least, so I think), I can appreciate how difficult it is to use spices to add to, but not replace the base flavor. Again the Dutch win my heart. Heavenly.
And finally, the best meal of the trip. At a fairly upscale restaurant that we ended up in (longish story how), I had the kind of steak that people can only dream about. It had it all: the crispy exterior, the tender and moist center….you could taste the meat but also the charcoaland caramelization from the flames. I don’t want to get too pornographic with the description here (I was told my description of the German race track from the earlier blog was bad enough), but it made my Tax-Raising, Latte-Drinking, Sushi-Eating, Volvo-Driving, New York Times-Reading, Body-Piercing, Hollywood-Loving, Left-Wing Freak Show Self (go ahead, click that link) feel good about eating meat.
With a vegetarian girlfriend and a Santa Cruz upbringing, I wrestle with my carnivore status four or five times a year. This meal in Amsterdam reminded me why no amount of PETA brochures (Mark….), cute animal movies, or anything else will stop the consumption. Thank you Amsterdam, thank you very much. It was more than I ever expected.
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(Dis)Honorable Mention: Portugal
We only stayed in Portugal (really, Lisbon) for two full days, so I don’t think it’s fair to judge their food against the others. And that may work out for the best, because Portugese food and me don’t get along well. My Americanized palet against their love for sardines……no…..just, no.
) but it’s time to end our adventure. Three months was just too long. 
